She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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