Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
