I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
