do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
