Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
