she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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