That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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