ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
