In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
