if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
