why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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