Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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