she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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