That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
