I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize