Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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