Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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