meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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