So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
