She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize