we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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