Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
