Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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