After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
