just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
