My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is it because I queefed?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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