how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My pussy is not your playground.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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