is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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