the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
