it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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