you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
