Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
someone owes me an orgasm
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
