She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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