Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
