But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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