NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
