do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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