i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
