Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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