i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I cut my penus on the lid.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize