I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
last night I used snow as a chaser
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