She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize