OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
