you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
