Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
