it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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