we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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