awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I am available for nakedness
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
