I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
