Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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