there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
