KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
