Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You may now shotgun with the bride
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
