Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
