I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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