I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
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Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
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I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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