No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
