I think I died a long time ago.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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