I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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