we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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