I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
