I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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