Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
